要這樣對我嗎？

三更半夜的… 我等了兩個小時多… 我等你等到四點多都不敢睡… 你… 你… 你竟然… 你竟然是日文！ 我又看不懂日文！ 這樣的BL遊戲我要怎麼玩？！ 我真的快瘋掉了！ 帥哥就在眼前！ 但是我不能看也不能玩！ 你要我怎麼辦啊！！！！ （（TToTT））

简简单单就好…

我觉得kc说的的也没有错… 人嘛… 过得简简单单就好…够养活自己，够养家就好了… 而且我觉得能做自己喜欢的工作是福，如果不能的话就当做简简单单的过日子吧…

I still dunno wad to do!

haiz.... right now i still dunno whether i should i shouldnt apply... is true tt it doesnt hurt even if u dun get the job... but i still... haiz... maybe when i wake up in the morning, i will have a better idea... juz go to slp jovi chong...

Confused

Found a few jobs on the net... I dunno whether to apply or not to apply... But I dun have a choice do I? haiz...

New job?

I don't think I have a choice. I think I just have to go back to where I belong. I will try out... but if it really is an ok... then I'm not going to reject anymore. I will just do whatever I can. This is really the minimum I can do for the house...

New Look!!!! ^^

Damn!!! i so got the mood to get on with my blog again!!!! Look at how beautiful it is now!!! guys!! girls!!!! tag in the tagboard!!! comment the posts!!!! vote the polls!!!! i hope you ppl have fun!!!!!!

i would sincerely wish and hope he could start talking to me again... is not i didnt try talking to him but he juz wont reply and he wont talk to me... i m alr at my limits... rules of love says guilt is selfish... instead of keep thinking of how u had hurt others and how others had hurt u... u either forget about it or u do something about it... however, even if i already choose to do something about it like talking to him like a friend like before and sincerely wanting to offer help to him if he needed and that i can help... he didnt want to reply then i do not have a choice... haiz... maybe i only left with the choice that is to forget? i think that will take me a few years.... haiz....

i was reading a romance novel and suddenly this thought came to me... wad if my family noe wad i have done? staying over at boyfriend place, wad do they think i will be doin and wad i did? although is long ago... and i dun wan to remember it anymore although to me is not something big... but if they knew... wad will happen? the first thought i have is them killing me... haiz... nvm.. i dun wan to think about it anymore... everything doesnt make sense...

ah.... my heart dun feel that good... i think is becos i m stressing too much about work... i should cool down a little... haiz.. chest pain~~~ chest pain... cant breath well again... maybe i should really go for a check up to check my lungs... but den sua... so expensive... later come out nth 就算了.... later come got something.... jialat! even worse! need to spend money to cure.... alr no job no money still sick den i should really go 撞墙alr... recently having slight headache... den feel dizzy cannot concentrate... is it i too late slp everynight? but den cant be leh... when i work i oso about the same time slp de leh... maybe old le bah... but recently 真的睡得不好。。。 keep on having nightmare ... if not 就是睡得很 uncomfortable...
there we go... my headache came again... i think i should go bath and slp now... tmr still have to do a lot of things... i think i better write down wad i need to buy tmr... if not i forget again... haiz... memory getting worse and worse... ppl like me who always like to go out to hang out with friends can actually forget that i got a date! last sunday actually goin out with mabel they all to gardens by the bay to see see look look... but den i totally forget about this until mabel reminded me to meet her at commonwealth on sat night! if not i totally forgot about goin out! i m totally surprise by how forgetful i have been getting that is scaring me... rmb the time when i can rmb everybody's birthday without even having to put any reminders in my phone and at tt time i dun even have facebook or any social network... but these few years... i cant even rmb even that person told me many times! and many many things i cannot rmb... like the things i said b4 and the things i do b4... let's not say a week or a few weeks ago... i m talking about a few hours ago!!! i think something is wrong with me... today juz have a little chat with mabel... and i told her about not feeling right about something and she said recently i have been feeling wrong about almost everything... but i do feel something like tt... i realised that i dun feel right about everything i that i give serious thoughts about... haiz... am i thinking too much or maybe i m juz not interested in anything tt is why i m feeling not right about everything... haiz... tired le... really should bathe and slp... orbin is having fun right now though... haha! ok good night! night night! ta ta! oyasumi! 晚安! hopefully today i dream of nth and slp in peace or i dream of midorima and kise and enjoy my lala land~!

自由

現在此刻得的我心裡只想著一件事。
我現在只想到一個沒有人認識我的地方，永遠都不會碰到認識的人的地方。
我想在那种地方自由的生活。
安安樂樂的，大大方方的做我自己！
現在的我，每天要演戲說謊，真的很累。
謊話永遠說不完，戲永遠演不盡！
我快喘不過氣來了！我簡直已經要瘋了！
真的。。。誰能救救我？
救命啊！！！！