sitting at a bus stop doin nth but juz watching cars and buses passing by... make me realise we all live in a veri busy world tt, we dun stop n take a look around us and we didnt see alot of things tt needed to be noticed.

trembling in fear

from the moment u said those words, i have been trembling... even during the dinner, every second i feel like crying, but i did my best to hold wadever tears tt was goin to fall... i can see tt mabel find me weird. but i have no choice but to avoid eye contact with anyone. i tried calling u ytd. u did not pick up. i try persuading u to let me have more of ur time. u didnt reply me with any ans even i repeated the qns. is it becos u dun love me anymore, or u love me too much? i dunno anymore. even until now, when i m typing this, my hands r still shaking... the fear of losing u. losing my precious treasure. we also promise tt we will only separate when u find someone u wan to spend ur life with... but now u didnt give me any reasons, juz becos we r not working tgt, we cant see each other everyday, u wan to give up. i dun understand at all.... please explain to me... i m really scared... my heart aches...

not giving up!

i m not giving anyone to anyone! u r mine! i m yours... dun juz throw me away when u havent even try... we r fated to meet n fall in love, but maintaining and staying together is not destiny, is an opportunity, a choice, a decision, an effort. why did u even say those kind of things... when i alr decided on u?! why...? why..........

i love u so much... too much... i cant leave u alone... my dear, is not tt i dun care or cant be bothered... but in order not to let u feel troubled, i hide my jealousy, so i act generous to let u go to her house n visit miko. in order not to let u see how flustered i m and how fast my heart beat when i see u, i have to act strong n avoid u. how i wish for every moment i can hold u close to me, let u feel my heart beat n dun bother abt other ppl's view. everyday i try to find a chance to get close to u but i dun have the courage to... so hoping tt u could feel wad i was feeling and pull me into ur arms and hold me close to u... so much i wan to noe abt u... but i dun wan to force u to tell me everything... i wan u to feel comfortable talking to me... i feel like i m being so greedy wanting so much things from u... if u r reading this post, i hope u can understand my love for u is endless... i promise myself since young, i will sacrifice anything i can to get the things or the person i wan, even if is giving up my life. i love you.

i think i m lonely

another day goin to end n we didnt talk much. u r tired n i dun wan to bother u much. the smile i receive from u this morning, make my day! tried veri hard to not get close to u, becos ur smell is making me dizzy. maybe i m too lonely... tt's why i m like tt...

wishing and hoping

hoping that you could tell me everything. anything that is troubling you or anything that make you happy i hope that you could share everything with me. also wishing that you could stay happy and may all happiness be with you. i gave everything i could and everything i have wishing for your happiness everyday every night. giving everything i could so that i wont regret of not loving you enough or letting you down. i did my best.

allergy acts up... cough n flu came tgt. my throat is dying my ear cannot really make it... i think i really have to save up for the fucking operation... i wonder how much will the check ups, specialist n the operation cost... haiz...

christmas is coming~! wad should i get?! wad should i get?! wad should i wish for?! hmm... maybe something memorable for mabel, and something useful for eric and linna they all... i wonder wad my darling wan for christmas. eliza one oso have to start thinking liao sia... tt troublesome kid. camera for her birthday, super junior for christmas? hmm.. i wanted to go chalet with my darling... dunno will he be happy or not if i invite him... lots of things happen in the company, so juz to relax... hmm...

getting  job is oso another problem...

haiz... things happen in relationship sometimes... maybe i shouldn't be like tt... how should I say this... maybe just some time he can be more... hmm.. he can dun respect me so much...

nvm lah! 顺其自然吧！

你一定是听到了我所祈祷的一切所以你才这样安排。谢谢你让我认识了一个会心疼我的人，也让我多了解我的家人。我真的希望以前发生过的事情不会再次重演。我不想在失去一个这样的人。一个就够了，他已经不会回来，我也不会在去想。但他会一直在我心里，我也知道他一定会很支持我，一定会叫我不要放弃这个爱。请你继续指引我做对的选择。我也希望你能保佑我爱着的这个傻瓜，开开心心，健健康康的。还有我跟我家人的关系我会进我全力再得回她们的信任。我知道没有一件事是完美的，但是我不会认输！要得到平衡是需要时间跟努力的！我会耐心等待，用心付出。=)