pictures...

救命啊~！

拿不到俊杰哥2009世界巡回演唱会的门票。。

不是因为没有票。。

也不是因为票太贵。。

是因为我妈不然曲演唱会。。

哇~~~！！！！

='(

我真的真的好想去喔！！

怎么办？

瞒着妈妈去演唱会吗？

有没有人告诉要怎么做？

救命啊~！

Try this out~!

Is just a simple friend test~!

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/2073796

我回来了

大家对不起！

这阵子因为发生了一些事情。。

所以我想自己一个人静一静。。

虽然事情是有好转，但是我的情绪暂时还不是很稳定。。

如果有让大家担心，我在这里向大家道歉。。

以后不用担心了。。

我不会有事的。。

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U~~~!!!!

SARAH!!! HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!!!!

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE~!

HEREBY I WISH U..

ALWAYS HEALTHY AND HAPPY~!

FROM YOUR 8 YEARS FRIEND,
Jovi~! <3

谢谢你

我没有要得寸进尺的意思。。

很抱歉如果我令你很反感，造成你的不便。。

但是，我只想帮一个朋友。。

你恨我没关系。。

你讨厌我也没关系。。

但是，我只求你，帮帮忙。。

我不能失去这个朋友。。

对。。我是从来没见过她。。

但是，她对我很重要。。

也是因为你让我们认识彼此。。

我也知道要你抽出时间很难。。

但是，希望你会尽量。。

可是到现在为止。。

你做的，我们真的已经很感激了。。

谢谢你。。

俊杰叫你加油。。

所以你要撑下去，知道吗？！

你要快快醒过来，知道吗？！

我知道你也累了。。

但是你要加油！

我们都等着你回来！

Michelle, please pull through..

Wayne is there for u.. please dun leave us alone..

u still haven finish wayne's present rite?

u have to wake up!!!

please....

WAYNE!!!! U GEEK!!!

i beg u.. please reply michelle..

please...

I'm a puppet

I'm a puppet.

I got no control of my life.

I do what people ask me to.

I'm feeling like a puppet.
I got no choices in my life.
I got no rights to choose.
If I choose not to listen..
I will regret.

I'm like a puppet.
something that people throw away after playing.
something that people will forget after a while.

I'm just a puppet.
Leave me alone.

glad tt u r back~!

SO HAPPY AND EXCITED THAT YOU ARE BACK!!!!!!

glad tt u r ok...

but u still 不乖..

haven fully recover den u wan to 出院..

u muz take care...

ur friend muz be veri tired taking care of u..

i think she is veri worried for u all this while..

u 2 muz rest more..

take turn to rest..

hope u get well soon~!

take care of urself ok?

I'm so glad tt u r ok..

I noe u dun like ppl to worry for u..

but actually.. i cried the whole morning..

knowing u r hospitalized..

first i was shocked, den panic den scared.. and i started crying..

all i was thinking was helping ur friend to find ways to contact wayne..

heard tt u r ok, i m ok~!

i promise u to see doctor, i will~!

i confirm set is next sat..

i take care of myself, u oso ok?

=)

michelle.. please wake up...

Michelle.. please.. wake up..

i cannot lose u...

u promise me today we will continue to chat de..

eric wont wan to see u like this..

wake up..

please..

we still got a lot of things abt wayne we haven share..

MICHELLE!!!!!!

stupid throat!

OMG...

cannot sing...

no voice..

not really no voice.. but talk got a bit problem..

u noe y?

becos i cannot hear wad i m talking..

plus talking with this kind of throat really can kill me..

u see i talk veri normal..

actually my throat hurts like shit!!!

haiz... wad ever lah...

maybe will see doctor when i m free..

我走了。。

我暂时会离开一下下。。
因为明天就要开学了。。
有时还会上MSN。。
但是，可能都是在忙。。

我希望大家都能开开心心的过~！
不管是真的还是假的。。
你自己心里会知道的。。

告诉大家一个秘密喔~！
‘心’是会说话的。。
真的会说话喔！
我听过！！
所以，相信自己的心，跟着他/她走准不会错！
大家要加油喔！^^

Signing off,
j0viaL Jovi XD

LUCKY~!

Finally finish my GEMs registration!!!

so happy~!

so lucky juz now~~!

when i register, there were only 3 seats left!!!

lucky me~~~!

hahax...

FIGHT!!!

it is goin to be war for me today!

i will fight till the end...

when the results r out i will be back to tell everyone!

CHIONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

很多的谢谢！

我现在很开心，很高兴！
因为我知道我没有，也不会后悔喜欢上俊杰。
在真的喜欢上俊杰之前。。
家里发生了很多事情。。
让我无法接受现实的残酷。。
那时候的我没有办法相信家里的任何人。。
觉得家里的人都不爱我，不关心我了。。
甚至讨厌这个家。。
差一点就闹自杀，走了。。

但是，当时听到俊杰的歌。
那温柔的声音。。
那么的温暖。。
他的声音让我清醒。。
让我知道我还有我的朋友。。
在我生命里那几位最重要的朋友。。
她们永远都在我身边。。
关心着我，陪着我。。
Sarah，Yun Fang，Yvonne，Zhen Hong。。
她们就是那几位从来不放弃我。。
不管我的脾气有多坏，我有多任性，多沮丧，多疯狂。。
她们都会陪着我，关心我。。

Sarah, thank you for everything... you are always there for me... you know me the best.. we have been friends since primary 3... although sometimes we quarrel.. and i really did ignore you.. those times, i m sorry.. but you are always a great and important friend to me... without you,somehow i don't know wad is smiling... and of cos i will nv know you can be so "cold" sometimes.. hahax.. thank you all these years... thank you for your care and support... LOVE YA~~~! you have to take care of urself, ok? losing you is not funny..

蕴芳，你还记得我们是怎么认识的吗？哈哈！那时候真的很不好意思，一直记不得你的名字。。但是，现在不叫你的名字，我还觉得怪怪的呢！我还会写你的华文名喔~！呵呵。。谢谢你。。谢谢你一直都陪着我，度过每一个难关。。我不懂的东西，你都会很有耐心的教我。。有时候我们会吵吵架。。但是，我们很快的就和好了。。因为有你，我不再寂寞。。当然还有Celeste。。虽然我们才认识短短的4年，但是你对我是了如指掌。。真的谢谢你！

Yvonne, i don't really rmb how we know each other.. is it when we were in TAF? that is like so long ago.. but somehow 缘分 let us know each other and become friends! you this girl, always so mature.. and we have lots of common things.. like love arcade, hate cosmetics and girly skirts and dresses.. hahax.. u help me solve lots of problems.. u always give me great advice.. and u know wad? everytime you smile, it brighten up my day!!! ^^ i always have fun going ur house.. playing and watch DVDs~! also, 大姐, Felicia, ur brother and your parents, always so take care of me and of cos all of us... thank you veri much!!!! 你的身体不是很好，要好好照顾自己知道吗？

Zhen Hong, this gong kia.. my little brother.. ALWAYS SO IRRITATING!!!! hahax.. but he is always such a nice boy... he always treat me so good... good until i cannot take it.. hahax.. Zhen Hong arh... thank you veri much.. although u r always so irritating and naggy... but thank you.. cos somehow sometimes u do knock some sense into me.. hahax.. however ur "emo-ness" do affect me a lot!!! so pls say out if u r unhappy, ok? i noe you when i was sec 2.. so we noe each other for like 3 years? u always wan to guess wad i was thinking.. but u always get it wrong.. although u dun really noe me well.. but i noe u do care for me.. thank you veri much.. and u you always wanted to noe something rite? now i tell u... yes, i do love u a lot... i always love u lots as a brother.. happy now? hahax.. all the best for ur O's!!

谢谢你们！
你们都参与了我的人生。。
让我的人生有了色彩。。
如果我的人生能写成一本故事书。。
我希望。。
书里的每一页，都会有你们！

当然，现在的我。。
搬了家。。
没有爸爸的打扰。。
我也慢慢的开始相信我妈和我姐。。
相信她们是爱我，疼我，关心我的。。
虽然有时还是莫名其妙的骂我。。
但是算了。。忍一忍就过了。。
和她们聊了天过后。。知道。。
虽然她们不喜欢我追偶像。。
但是，她们不会阻止我追俊杰。。
真的谢谢我妈把我养的那么大，又健康。。
还有我姐，帮了我不少忙。。
而且也很疼我。。

还有俊杰。。
他是最重要的。。
没有他，我不会看到那么多的东西。。
没有他，我也不会突然清醒。。
面对现实。。
也因为他，让我认识了那些JM。。
刚开始喜欢上俊杰的时候。。
我认识了他们。。
我只把他们当网友。。
但是，慢慢的我发现到。。
他们都是以家人的方式来关心对方。。
因为有了他们，在我相信我妈和我姐之前。。
给我家庭的温暖。。
让我没那么快放弃我自己。。
让我振作。。继续加油，努力下去。。
那些让我继续下去的JM家人们。。
Yuki (北京), 雯雯姐(河北）, 11（沈阳）, Connie（香港）, Greenny（美国）, Cherie（香港）, 小庄和小茶, 超, 華姐（台湾），卡洛兒（台湾）, Michelle（S'pore), ctrlplusz(S'pore), 熊 （广西），小雨，艾艾，小艾，林小二他妹，还有很多很多！
说不完的。。
对我们有些JM来说，俊杰是他们的老公，爱人，情人。。
但对有些JM来说，就像我。。俊杰是我们的大哥哥，老师，偶像。。
谢谢我妈，我姐！
谢谢Sarah, Yun Fang, Yvonne, Zhen Hong！
谢谢JM家人！
谢谢俊杰！

谢谢大家！
我爱你们！
我以后会开开心心的过日子的！
不会再让你们担心！^^

cannot go for the gathering tmr..

sianz..

at e-hub...

so damn far lah...

haiz..

nvm.. see next time den...

i noe now my blog entry all veri short..

but i got nth much to write..

kill me..

got my results...

see le wan to GND...

no comments...

think of results no mood le...

forget it...

GPA=?.???

wadever lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CUTE~!

Honto Kawaii~~~!!! CUTE~!

中秋节快乐~！11，生日快乐~！

大家中秋节快乐啊~！
呵呵。。
虽然是晚了一点。。但是希望大家不会介意~！

刚刚到了外头找月亮去了。。
我看到了一个很大，很圆，很亮的月亮喔~！
好漂亮呢~！
大家现在应该到外头看看。。
或者望出窗外。。
看到那漂亮的月亮时你会觉得它好像一直守护着你。。

真是一种享受啊~！

还有~！
11，生日快乐喔~！
我们JM一家人都会永远的陪在你身边的~！
要继续加油喔~！

thank you Ames and Sarah~!

Thank you Ames~~~!!! For the present... i like the monkey veri much~~~!!! And there are really a lot of sweets~~~!!! hahax... LOVE IT~!

今天跟Ames和Sarah一起出去看电影~！我们看了花样男子Final。。很好看~！很感人~！爱死了~！嘻嘻。。今天Ames也把他欠我的生日礼物带来了~！哈哈！我一打开，里面全都是糖果！！！还有还有，我万万没有想到。。那一大堆糖果下面埋着了一只猴子~！我说当然是绒毛玩具啦~！好可爱~！我很喜欢~！真的很谢谢Ames。。当然还有Sarah。。因为虽然今天一起出门我还是觉得有一点点的尴尬。。但是，有了Sarah，我放心多了~！我想以后会更好！我们以后还一起出去的喔~！有了Sarah今天也变得好玩了~！哈哈~！

this a video of wayne.. is made by my friend..

白痴的我

今天我很晚很晚才起床。。
大概下午一点多我才起身。。
不知道为什么，最近的睡觉的时间越来越长。。
难道我的身体处状况了？！
我的天啊~！
难道我死掉了吗？！

说这些话真的有点白痴。。
哈哈！
但是没有我以前为了男人和父母离婚的事而自杀那么的白痴。。
现在的我不会再这样了。。
即使放不下，也我不会拿自己的生命来开玩笑。。
因为不是每次都会有人那么的有影响力，来让我继续活下去。。
要不是那时候有俊杰，我也不会活到现在。。

可是。。

最近，我发现到自己对俊杰的态度越来越不一样了。
只要看到俊杰的照片或听到他的任何消息，就会觉得很厌烦。。
不是不喜欢他或不再支持他了。。
只是，我觉得我得冷静下来，好好反省我对他的态度和要求。。
只希望他的新专辑能说服让我继续的支持他。。

不祥的预感。。

hey hey hey~~~!!!!

i change my blogskin le~!
although is quite plain.. but i like plainess..
the colour is not the one i m looking for.. but i like the music notes on top.. not bad though.. haha..

actually got one violin de..
but den nv choose in the end..
next time bah...
hehe.. like talking to myself..

wadever lah...
最近感觉心里很不安。。
总觉得俊杰很想要发生什么事。。
当然我说的不是发新专辑的事。。
我说的是不好的事情。。
我越来越怕自己的直觉。。
可能是自己太敏感。。
但是，总是出事。。

就像那时候。。
感觉到很不安，总觉得JM们会出什么事，还是会有危险。。
所以会在悠悠上面，都有叫家人好好照顾自己。。
没想到，几个星期后就发生了地震。。

还有，爆唱会后就觉得很不安。。
过后海蝶果然出事了。。
但是，事件过后。。到现在我的心还是非常的不安。。
总觉得俊杰很像要出什么事。。

我想都是我在想太多。。
我想一切都是巧合吧。。
希望以后不要有那么多的巧合。。

yeah~!!!! examz finish le!!!!

AP Chem

今天 19/08/2008,

我到了学校考试。。
考AP Chem。。
我没有时间完成最后一题。。
结果，10分没了。。

其他的题目我不是很有信心拿到好的分数。。
算了，考都已经考了。。
现在只能为剩下的考卷加油了~！

星期四就要考数学了。。
我希望我能做得到！

俊杰没有来打扰我已经算是很不错的了。。

离开前的祝福。。

我还有两天。。
我只剩两天。。
我就要走了。。
离开这里。。

果然，被我猜中了。。
我们没有缘分见最后一次面。。
我一旦离开。。
我就不会再回来了。。

祝你幸福快乐。。
天天开开心心。。
平平安安。。
Stay Healthy~!

从我搬走的那天开始。。
我不再留恋。。
我不再想起。。

我的心也就只会向着俊杰一人。。
不会再对其他人动心。。
不会再喜欢上任何人。。

我的心。。。











死了。。。

我不想告诉家人们。。

我真的不想在HI悠悠上面说这些话。。
我不想在HI悠悠上说这些话是因为我不想要家人们担心。。

真的老实说一句。。
我的耳朵只要一天不动手术，是不可能会好的。。
每次看到亲们留言祝我早日康复。。
我真的不知道要怎么跟他们说。。
我不忍心告诉她们我的耳朵永远都不会好的。。
最近耳朵疼痛的程度比以前的还要厉害。。
而且疼痛的时间也延长了。。
听觉也变得不是很好了。。

HAPPY 43RD NATIONAL DAY!!!

HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!
I LOVE YOU~~~~!!!
YOU ARE THE BEST!!!
I'M ALWAYS PROUD OF YOU!!!
要加油喔~~~！！
ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!!!!

还有5天。。

我还有5天就要搬离开这里了。。

我真的真的很想很想见见你。。看看你的脸。。

就算是。。我见你的最后一次吧。。

希望老天爷真的能帮我这个忙。。让我再看你最后一次。。

过后，我就会把你永远的放在心里的最深处。。

快乐的面对我的生活。。

我真的很希望能跟你说一句。。

“我爱你。。。”

我爱你。。。

今天，放了学，我到了家楼下的篮球场。。

知道我住那里的人就会觉得很奇怪，为什么我要说这个。。
因为我每天都会经过我家楼下的篮球场。。

但是，今天不一样。。
今天，的篮球场很少人。。
我本来只是想经过就算了，但是，见到球场很少人我就坐在附近，一直望着篮球场。。

我突然想到我快要搬家了。。离开这里。。住了8年的地方。。
这个地方有着很多很美好回忆。。
尤其是我跟“他”的回忆。。

以前我们就是常常在这篮球场一起打篮球。。
一起吵架，甚至打架。。
“他”每次都欺负我，整天只专跟我抢球。。
明明就是故意的，还每次给我一副无辜的样子。。
超讨人厌的~！

今天，我终于鼓起了勇气，再次的踏上了这个5年来都没有走过的篮球场。。
一踏上球场，我就想起以前小时候，我们快乐的一起玩，一起闹。。
然后，就想起，我花了两年的时间来找“他”。。探听“他”的消息。。
然后就发现“他”有了女朋友。。
站在篮球场上，我的眼泪当场流了下来。。
我含着泪，跑回家。。
到了家，我大哭。。
一直哭个不停。。

这5年来。。我根本不敢靠近这个篮球场。。
因为我不想想起“他”。。
不想想起“他”已经有了女朋友。。
不想想起“他”的一切。。

但是，我要搬走了。。
就再也没有机会看到“他”。。
我不想离开这里。。
我不想离开“他”。。
我不要看不到“他”。。
我不要失去那些记忆。。

原来到现在我才发现。。
我对“他”不是习惯。。
我是真的爱上了“他”。。
我真的很爱“他”。。。
我离不开“他”。。

“他”的地位，是连俊杰都没有办法代替的。。
我永远会把“他”摆在第一位。。

Kun Sheng，我真的很想你。。
我也很爱你。。
我真的无法忘记你。。
所以我会永远地把你放在心里的最深处。。
没有人可以把你抢走。。
这样我也离不开你。。
没有人可以代替你。。

我爱你。。。

have fun @ jacey house~!

ytd went to jacey house was really veri veri fun!!! she got all kinds of article on JJ man!!! so 厉害 lor!!! how i wish i can be like her!!! she live at the 24th floor leh!!! the view there is nice until~~~~~ i got nth to say.. the night view is like... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahax.. super nice~~~~!! den she cook her 拿手蛋炒饭 for me~! is veri nice!!! athough i took a long long time to go her house n back home.. veri tiring.. but veri happy~~ however the results is not tt satisfying arh... nvm abt tt.. dun talk abt it.. if not later i 发飙 again..

also i wan to thank jacey for inviting me to her house.. is really nice.. plus ytd was the first time we meet each other!!! hahax.. also because of her i can 顺顺利利 reach home.. hehe.. hope i can go her house again~!

ok.. nid to go do work liao.. BB~!

失败后的心情。。

Ytd went to Jacey' house to watch the MTV Asia Awards, but in the end, no videos only got pictures and words. but 我够满足了! however, in the end JJ still didnt get the award.

This is my mood last night:
真的是气死我了！！明明知道俊杰没有赢就一定会想到我的心情是非常的不开心，你就偏偏来惹我！！好过分！！还说什么“赢不了的啦”！！什么赢不了！！俊杰很厉害得好不好！！你知道他多少！！虽然我不知道他很多的事情，但是至少我知道得比你多！我知道你不稀罕，但是，请你也想想我的感受！对！追偶像的是我不是你，你当然觉得不管你的事！你也会觉得我很无聊去追偶像，还追得不像样，但是，我在这里告诉你：我追星的时候我自己知道极限在哪里！我不会乱花钱，我又不是什么关于俊杰的东西我都买！我知道什么该买什么不该买，好不好！我也知道家里没有钱！我也知道要付学费！我又不是白痴！！所以不要太过分！你不喜欢我追偶像就算了，请你不要故意在我面前说这些不好听的话！重伤俊杰！！你要说就说我，干嘛要说俊杰！他又没有得罪你！！我本来是不想把这些心里话说出来的的，是你逼我的！我本来心情是已经平静了，打算这件事情就这样算了，但是，你就偏偏把那主要惹我生气的话题说出来！还添油加醋！！现在我的心情极度的不好！现在，谁敢来惹我你就给我试试看！！我一定给你脸色看！！！

But now my mood is:
俊杰，我知道你一定会失望，但是我相信你会很快的好起来的！看到你说的话，心自然而然会阵阵的痛。。眼泪也流了下来。。可是，俊杰说得到做得到，对不对？你不在乎就不在乎，对不对？我不喜欢你这样的来哄我们开心，这样的来安慰我们。。我很希望你能说出的的心里话，这样以来你自己也会觉得舒服些。。当然我还是很不甘心，毕竟我们大家都努力了那么久。但是，俊杰你知道一件事吗？虽然说出来很多人一定会怪我，我想俊杰你也会怪我。。但是我还是想说。。昨天，在颁奖前，我跟老天爷说了这么一句话：“老天爷，俊杰拿不拿奖没关系，但是，请让俊杰天天开开心心，平平安安，健健康康就好了。”真的很对不起，我不是故意的。但是，我真的不在乎俊杰你得什么奖，虽然对你来说是别人对你的音乐的一种认同，但是，对我来说，要人家认同，不一定要得奖。自己心里知道不就好了吗？我这样说，俊杰你应该会很生气。。但是，我只是说出我的心里话而已。。希望你能原谅我。。

到最后，我还是想恭喜罗志祥和孙燕姿拿到奖。。大家都要继续加油喔~!

小猪，生日快乐~！

hey hey!!! i came to post!!!

明天是小猪罗志祥的生日！！！

我们的国王，罗主任，Mr Pig，又老了一岁咯~！（不方便说出他的真实年龄 >.<）

但是，你在我心中是永远的18岁啦~！嘻嘻。。

现在这里祝你生日快乐~！

希望你的愿望全部都实现~！

要继续加油喔~！我会永远支持你的~！

我唯一的Show~！唯一的国王~！

stupid entry.. hahax..

veri long nv come here n write things alr.. cos quite busy, and quite lazy.. =D

many things happen, and i will try to upload as many picture as i can.

wad i m doin recently..

i went for the YES933 25周年 街头爆唱会 on the 20/07/2008 and i saw JJ!!!
but b4 tt i went to 林宇中签唱会 at bugis!!
also i decided to join JJFC..
and also i have been listening to YES933 quite frequently..

i dun wan to talk abt sch.. is super boring, and stress.. so juz forget it..

also i decided to go to 蕭敬虅签唱会 on 10/8/2008, 1pm.
tt is all.. hahax.. veri boring rite this entry.. i noe.. but 将就点.. bo bian.. hahax.. if not this blog goin to rot liao...

OMG!!!!

OMG!!! Hsien Yeow you rmb my birthday!!! i love u man!!! u r my best buddy, best brother, best friend arh!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! i dun even think samuel, joash, anselmor and ames will rmb lor!!! i really veri veri 感动leh!!! not trying to be sarcastic here lor.. really thank you veri veri veri much!!! i didnt expect tt u will say happy birthday to me when u start the conversation lor!!! i thought u dun rmb me alr... wah!!!! i goin to cry alr.... i cannot believe it!!! u rmb!!!!

This is the evidence!!!

我心好疼。。

星辰，我很高兴你醒来了！

但是，听到你的朋友那么说。。

我真的很心疼。。

我相信你一定会记起JJ和我们的！

你要常上来悠悠。。

我们一定会让你想起一切美好的事。。

想起那个你曾经爱过的JJ。。

JJ，我求你快点发新专辑！！

我们现在真的很需要的歌来帮助星辰记起你的事情！

星辰，你要好好照顾自己。。

我相信你不会有事的！

祝你早日康复！

星辰，你要加油！

我们每一位JM都等着你回来。。

不要放弃！我们一直都在支持着你，陪着你。。

大家都都是一家人！一个都不能少！

要好好的回来，知道吗？！

Music Box

我想我是疯了！！我今天一定是疯了！！我竟然盯着他足足一整堂课！！我保证以后再也不会发生这种事情了！我还不想那么早死呀！

今天，没什么心情吃东西。。根本没有胃口。。下午吃了过后就好想吐。。
也没有什么心情上课，差不多都应该没有在听老师在说话。。
回到家，基本上什么都没有吃。。只是喝了一点点的水。。

突然好想有一个音乐盒。。
有着美妙的旋律。。看着两个人转圈圈，跳着舞。。
多美呀~！
但是，还是希望能有多几只绒毛玩具来陪陪我。。
I going to buy one soft toy for myself during my birthday, YEAH!!

JJ，我今年的生日愿望有你喔~！
我不能说出来，一说了就不会实现了。。

我的祥祥~！

哇~~~~~！！！！

我的祥祥输了~~~~！！！

小猪！你不是校队的吗？！

怎么可以这样子就输了呢？！？！

祥祥~！

要加油喔~！

永远支持你！！

但是，还是小杰优先。。嘻嘻。。

《无尽的思念》

不开心，不开心，不开心！！！

为什么会这样？！

因为学业，朋友，家庭，还是爱情？

心里一直很不舒服。。

那旋律。。

那让我哭的旋律。。

那让旋律我感受到藏在我心里很久很久的痛。。

那让我面对现实的旋律。。

这旋律让我发现到我从以前到现在，逃避了多少。。多久。。

但是，到现在逃避依然是唯一能让我脸上挂上笑容的方法。。

再给我一点时间来找回以前的那个我。。

那个不认识“他”的我。。

那个拥有完美家庭的我。。

那个没有友情纠纷的我。。

那个没有学业压力的我。。

请再给我多一点时间来接受现在眼前的一切。。

坚强面对！

每次一想要哭，我就拼了命的忍着。
今天我发现到，我哭不出来了。
我一直都在听JJ的歌，来度过每一个难关。
一看着他的样子，听到他的声音，就会暂时忘记所发生的不愉快。

To每一位可爱的家人，你们给我的鼓励是不会白费的！
我会加油！我会努力！我会坚强！我不会让你们失望！
我希望能真的和你们碰面，好好的和你们聊聊。
这样我觉得就会更像一家人了！

我也希望JJ能继续加油，做出好音乐，跟我们JM一起分享他的快乐，还有让我们分担他的不愉快。
JJ，加油！我永远都会支持你！我说得到，做得到喔~！

撑不住，怎么办？

“家”应该是一个很舒服的地方。。。

但是，为什么我却觉得呆在外头比在家里舒服呢？

我只是想有一个安稳的家。。。

我只是想要每天一放学回到家。。。

可以舒舒服服，安安心心的休息。。。

可是为什么我每次一回到家就会觉得很辛苦呢？

好像不能呼吸的感觉。。。

我真的很辛苦。。。

我真的很怕我撑不住。。。

如果我撑不住，我妈和我姐要怎么办？

可是我真的很累了。。。

我亲爱的JM家人们。。。

我已经很尽量的在撑了。。。

每天不停的哭，我已受够了！

我真的快受不了了！

The Darkness of Heart

Sry for dragging so long.. this is my first drawing..

The Darkness Of Heart

Notice!!!

HEY HEY HEY EVERYONE!!!

juz wan to inform my regular blog readers...

From tmr onwards, i will be putting up some drawings which is my own creation.. there will be one drawing uploaded every week...

so please comment on the drawing through the tagboard.. thank you!

ames this is for u

Ames, is not i dun wan to meet up.. is juz tt meeting u make me feel guilty.. his birthday is coming.. i dun wan to make use of u to make me forget him.. this is not an excuse for not meeting up with u.. this is oso the same reason i for wad i did to u during secondary sch.. i dun wan to make use of my good buddy, someone tt i cherish and love so much.. u r really the best guy i ever met, doin all those things for me in the past. i love u the way u r.. u r always my good buddy.. i really love to have a brother like u..

of cos goin out is not a problem.. is juz tt maybe having another person around will be better.. i heard from sarah tt u 2 r quite close.. so maybe with her around i wont feel so guilty n uncomfortable.. plus having to go out alone with someone who is goin deaf, is not really good for u..

pls understand me.. and if u feel uncomfortable having this blog entry posted.. pls tell me...

maybe juz another thing i wan to say.. i did cry when u told tt last year.. although, i told u i m fine, but i dun feel fine at all..

真的放下了吗？

你真的放下了吗？
如果真的已经放下了，那为什么还一直那么的在乎他呢？
你说，在乎不等于是喜欢，那你对俊杰又算是什么呢？
你每天都在为他的生日倒数。。
今天已经是倒数第十天了。。
你每天都在想着他。。
这也算是已经放下了吗？
你自己好好的想一想吧！
摊开你的心来看看。。
你真的有在面对现实吗？

我希望你不要再骗自己，来逃避现实了。。

谢谢俊杰和JMs

凶什么凶啊？！也不知道你发什么脾气！跟妈咪一样，没事无缘无故发脾气，简直是莫名其妙！随便说几句就气到哭，也太烂了吧！我现在才发现，原来有人比我还爱哭！思想成熟又怎样！心里记仇却跟小孩子没两样！好白痴啊！这家人怎么都那么的偏心呀？妈咪和爸爸就整天只会偏袒姐姐，不在乎我的感受。。姐姐又只会对她的朋友好，装一副样子给他们看，这也太假了吧？！我想她们都没有看过她到底是怎样的一个人吧？！到底这个家里住的是什么人呀？！怎么都怪怪的呀？！真庆幸我不是他们的孩子！要不然会被遗传到怪怪的精英！真的是莫名其妙的来到这个家哦~！也莫名其妙的被冷落了16年！当然，也莫名其妙的被骂了16年！我的生活还真是有够多的莫名其妙呀！

俊杰，真的很谢谢你。。因为你，让我知道什么是有家人呵护的感觉。。因为你，让我认识了那些疼我，爱我，关心我，体谅我，在乎我的JMs。。其实，真的如果没有你和JMs。。我真的早就已经割脉自杀了。。是你们让我活了下来。。让我继续听到俊杰美妙的音乐和看到他灿烂可爱的笑容！

我是养女？

跟我出去有那么辛苦吗？
本来是想说，因为爸爸的事情让你最近很不高兴。。所以，好不容易抽出时间来陪你逛，随便修电话。。你竟然嫌我麻烦，一直说你赶时间。。我还算是你的女儿吗？你以为我真的那么的有空吗？每次见你和姐姐出去又不见得你那么地赶时间。。以前，我们三个一起出去，你就一直拿我和姐姐比。。说我乱花钱，说我看到什么都要，没有用脑想。。现在我帮你省钱，你有说我浪费你的时间。。我真的有那么多东西给你跳吗？我真的在你眼里差成这个样子吗？我对这个家好失望。。我对你好失望。。我现在终于知道我为什么那么爱和朋友出去玩。。以为你根本不在乎我的感受。。姐姐发脾气的时候，你们处处都顺着她。。我发脾气的时候，你们根本不当一回事。。为什么会这样？因为我的成绩不如姐姐的吗？是这样吧？所以，你们不可以怪我每天都对着电脑。。因为能给我想家人的感觉的人，就只有那些JMs。。她们在乎我的感受，她们了解我，她们肯听我说。。我真的觉得呆在外面的感觉比在家里还温暖。。我真的是你的女儿吗？老实说一句，我从里到外，没有一样东西是跟你和爸爸相像的。。无论是发色，眼睛的颜色，个性，嗜好，或习惯。。没有一样是相像的。。而且，你们对我和对姐姐的态度是一个天一个地。。

我真的是你们的女儿吗？

penknife

penknife...

something tt i should never ever touch again in my life...

but i m really tired...

i feel so dead...

so not alive...

i pick up a penknife today...

thinking where i should use it on...

on my hand?

or on my leg?

i did promise jun hao tt i wont do it again..

but i cant guarantee tt i wont.

i noe how it feels like without a father...

i noe how is feels like to be abandon...

it dun feels good...

but i cannot mention this at home...

everybody will feel so upset...

i m really feeling veri miserable now...

i feel like i m dying...
i so wish i could juz die now...

someone please help me...
please.....
我真的很辛苦。。。
谁能来救我。。。

hope u r happy..

16 more days to ur birthday...
i miss u veri much..
it has been 6 years since primary 5..
i have nv forgotten u..
i oso dun expect u to rmb me..

i juz wish tt u could be happy everyday..
and be with the one u love..
every year, when ur birthday is near, i will start folding straw hearts..
for u.. actually i wanted to give them to u..
but i dunno how, n even i noe where u r, i wont dun dare to..

stay happy n healthy, ok?

SARAH!!!!

HEY HEY!!! veri long nv blog le.. becos of several reasons..

First, I dun have the time to blog.

Second, my sister is using the internet.

Third, which is the last one and most important reason..

I GOT NTH TO BLOG ABOUT!!! hahax.. ^^

ok, fine.. i noe i'm veri lame..

actually during this "non-blogging" time.. i got lots of work to do.. and i m trying to get use to the environment in Singapore Poly.. now i m pretty ok there.. juz need a few weeks more i guess..

all the assignments, presentations and reports r also stressing me out.. although is not a lot.. but i really cannot present, or somehow express my thinking in words in front of someone who i m not really familiar with.. so i feel pretty stress in the presentation area. PLUS my english is not really good.. so the CRS presentation is the worst nightmare!!! but after chatting with 雯, i feel better, but wanting me to present, is really a veri veri difficult task for me..

BUT BECOS 雯&ALL THE JMs I WILL TRY ALL I CAN TO OVERCOME THIS DIFFICULTY, becos i really dun wan to disappoint them.. they always give me so much support, i cannot give them rubbish results right?

today went out with sarah!!! cos she wanted to cut hair n take photo.. so she ask me along.. when she was cutting hair, we were talking a lot.. and she keep on moving.. making the person veri difficult to cut her hair.. hahax.. den after tt we went to the food court to eat.. i ate japanese food, and sarah ate korean food.. it is super nice.. after tt we took some photos n i went home.. sarah stay behind cos she still got piano lessons.. i will be posting up all the photos later.. it was really fun today!! hahax..

hope next time free den go out again!!! yeah!! AND SARAH, RMB TO TAKE CARE ARH...!!!

this are the photos we took!!!

erik's birthday!!!

today end lesson at 10.30am.. hahax.. den after tt ent all the way to foodcourt 6 to celebrate Erik's birthday!!! hahax.. we gave him a surprise!!! although he dun look surprise to me.. but as long as everybody is happy, den ok le!! yeah! hui kheng bought a birthday cake for him, but in the end he dun eat cakes.. same as me.. we only eat ice cream cake. hahax..

oh! also i saw celeste at foodcourt 6 today too!! hahax.. cos foodcourt 6 is at the business blocks!!! veri happy to see her!!!

after the celebration, we went home.. den i went back to secondary sch to find mrs khoo for some community service thing to ask her. but in the end cannot go in.. haiz.. nvm.. next time bah.. at most dun do the project.. oh! i saw amanda too when i was on my way to loyang sec.. i was so so happy!!!

ok lah.. write until here.. next time den continue..

我爱你们大家！

JJ，JMs。。
如果不是你们。。
我真的早就不在着世界上了。。
因为有你们的鼓励和小杰的音乐。。
我才会存在。。
你们是我的家人。。
连我的家人都不会这样的鼓励我。。
谢谢你们！

当然还有我多年来的朋友。。
你们也是给予我很多的鼓励。。
陪伴我很多的快乐与不愉快。。
谢谢你们！

最后，当然还有家人。。
虽然我爸爸不要这个家了。。
但是我还有我的姐姐和妈妈。。
虽然她们每次不是骂我，酸我不然就是损我。。
但是我知道她们是关心我的。。
也很照顾我。。
我在家里很任性。。
她们也一直忍着。。
尤其是我姐姐。。
她每次都被我气到爆！
我也很常和我妈吵架，也没有帮她做家务。。
但是，现在我会努力的！
不会在气她们，还有不会那么任性！
我会加油！

this is good... i really love it man..

this is like OMG!!!! JJ I LOVE U MAN!!! U REALLY ROCKS!!!

fanclub trouble

a few days nv blog liao.. i think i too busy le bah.. hahax.. busy make new friends!!! -_-"
back to topic.. veri tired these few days.. next week is really starting sch le.. cos all the datasheets n reports r coming up.. there will also be more n more tutorials.. although haven really start.. but i alr can feel the stress.. really veri scared.. plus i m not use to the new environment there.. dun really eat much in sch.. erm... actually i eat alot in sch... but in the end.. i vomited everything out.. sianz.. so i dun really feel well in sch.. i oso feel veri uncomfortable in sch.. like everything around me is veri weird n strange.. lecturers, friends, place, everything! hope i can get use to it asap..

and anyway, abt the fanclub thing.. i think i will wait till i can make my own decisions den i will join.. so JJ Federation, u muz wait for me! i will somehow join the fanclub one day!!! i will oso listen to my "boss", to be happy and brave when facing all challenges!! i will not let u down!! KFP rocks!! but den i m gaining weight.. so "boss" i dun think i can be the role model for the rest in KFP.. hahax..>.<

ok.. write until here..

realise somethings we do is juz not rite..

sch have started.. veri tired.. cos the previous day n today have to wake up veri early.. not veri use to it.. so veri tired.. alr start lectures n have some work to do alr.. quite busy.. but u noe y i blogging now.. COS I TMR GOT NO LESSON!!! YEAH!!! I DUN NID TO GO SCH!!! I CAN LAZE AT HOME N................................................................................... do my hmwk... haiz.. -_-"

today went on to HIYOUYOU.. quite disappointed with wad they write.. we all love JJ, but y do this? haiz.. i cannot rmb whether i did it b4 too.. but wad i wan to say here is.. we all r JMs.. we love JJ.. we wan to do something for him.. but juz sometimes, juz becos we love him so much tt we wanted to protect him from anything tt hurts him, n harm him.. but now i realise somethings we do r juz wrong.. i'm veri sorry, JJ.. we somehow hurt u when we r trying to protect u.. i m really veri sry.. n JMs.. i m sorry too if i ever did all this..

Happy day!!

hey hey!! today went to yvonne's stall to celebrate zhen hong's birthday which is tmr!! 14/4!! hahax..

yvonne came to fetch us, den after tt we have our lunch.. we start talking alot abt schools.. XP

after lunch, i went into the kitchen n brought out zhen hong's birthday cake, yvonne bought! the cake look veri nice n taste veri good!!(will show the pic of the cake after yvonne send me the pics..) den after the songs, wishing n cutting of cakes.. zhen hong keep on wanting to open the presents.. actually yun fang one no need to open.. hahax.. only mine need.. >.<"

after he open.. he saw the kola bear soft toy, he juz keep on hugging it.. hahax.. like a little girl!! hahahahahahahaha!!!! will post the pics afterwards..

after tt we continue talking abt schools, n den we go home!!! this maybe the last time we r meeting so is like veri.. i dunno wad to say lah.. hahax.. XD but i will miss u guys!!

actually got something i wan to say.. but i scared u all will worry.. since is a happy day.. i didnt really wan to talk abt it.. XP

i'm sorry tt i didnt tell u all abt my recent health conditions.. although i did not see a doctor, or have a check up.. but i juz dun feel rite.. recent i cannot focus on things properly.. n when i start to run or jump, more of jumping, becos when the feet touch the ground, the left side of my head will hurt alot.. and the whole left side of my body( my hands, legs, n ear) juz stop functioning, or somehow it dun react for a few seconds.. (i cannot move my hands, n legs, n i cannot hear).. sometimes it may even hurt abit when i m walking.. it maybe becos of my ear.. but i dunno if there maybe some other reasons.. i dun wan to noe the reasons.. so i will not be goin to the doctor to have a check up..

sry to let everybody worry.. if u dun care.. tt is really good for u.. XD

here's the pictures!

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY ZHEN HONG!!!!

school starts..

HIIIIIIIII!!!! like veri long time nv blog.. but is only 2 days.. hahax..

goin to start sch alr!! but b4 sch starts i alr make lots of friends.. XD
ytd's flag day is super tiring.. i stand there for so long.. ask non-stop but in the end.. all the donation i got $23.51.. somemore the 1cent is not singapore money.. sianz.. i didnt reach $30!!! i think i goin to die le..

haiz.. now veri tired.. i think is becos veri long nv walk around.. den ytd i was like standing in the sun for hours.. so now.. having aches everywhere..

i m happy tt sch is starting.. becos i can make lots of friends n got things to do.. rather den stay at home n rot.. but i dun wan to start sch too.. becos like tt i got lots of things to do.. den no time go HIYOUYOU to see JJ liao.. haiz...

i juz happen to come across a JJFC member.. i dunno is a he or she.. but i think is she.. so i asked her abt getting in JJFC.. she said tt.. nid to pay $18 to join n $8 for the shirt..i was thinking, "juz pay lor.." but i den think of n mother n sister.. i think they will kill me if i do tt.. i m so dead.. i dunno wad to do.. should i or should i not join.. haiz.. have to discuss with my mother.. but i can confirm tt she definitely wont agree with this.. haiz..

HOW????!!?!!

JJ和JM一同出去玩

JJ，今天看了你的Blog，看你玩得很开心，脑海里突然间浮现一个念头！那就是想问一问，你有没有想过带几个JM一起出去玩的想法呢？如果你没有想过，那从现在开始，你可以考虑看看吗？我来自新加坡，所以当然希望你能带其他来自不同地区的JM来逛逛新加坡！哈哈！这样以来可以让JM更进一步的认识你,而且大家也可以像好朋友一样玩得很疯！

the cockroach.. OMG!

HEY HEY HEY!!!

actually i got nth to say.. but i'm veri veri bored so come here n blog..

let me think wad to write.. hmm..

oh! i haven't finish my math hmwk!! i'm so dead!! haiz.. later early in the morning den do lah.. veri lazy to think abt math..

OH! n another thing happen juz now.. i killed a cockroach!!! that is juz so gross.. i dun wan to think abt it liao..

CLS games day 4/4/2008

hey hey!! now is 12.17am.. 5/4/2008.. so wad i m goin to say is wad i do on the 4/4/2008..

today.. went to the CLS Games Day.. i reach there around 8.30am+.. so is consider quite early.. cos it start at 9am.. den after tt some of the early comers n i form a group.. n we all were lead by a GL(group leader.. but we r not in groups yet...), his name is Chin How.. n his lao po, Cherrie.. also i noe tt one of the GLs is call "Kimchi" hahax.. i noe is bad to laugh at other ppl names.. fine..

after playing some small games.. is time for the forfeiters to perform.. we got a banana dance, watermelon dance, n a papaya dance.. super duper funny.. plus another GLs dance n pole-dancing.. hahax..

after all the dancing.. we were den being separated into groups.. n my Papa n Mama(my group leaders) is Chin How&Cherrie(this is juz so.. hahax..) we play the same games tt was played earlier.. hahax.. but it was still veri fun.. den we create our group name which is, "Cannon".. abit weird but nice to say.. hahax.. den we create our own cheers.. u will be thinking like.. so sians.. like all the camps n day camps do de.. but this time is different.. we have to use our own cheers to win our own lunch, get our stations tasks, n most important of all.. to get "THE BALLS"!!!

u will be thinking like wad the hell is it.. now i tell u starting from the stations..

the first station:
we have to use 2buckets(1 with cracks at the bottom so tt u cannot store any water inside, the other one is perfect..) to catch water bombs that were thrown by some of the groups members.. while playing this game, the GMs(Game Master) n the seniors will use water guns to shoot us.. making us wet.. after tt we finish this task,, we have to do another thing which is the caterpillar.. i dun like it at all.. cos the guy behind me in super heavy.. haha..

the second station:
we first came to a veri muddy part of the field.. den wad we do there is tt we have to slide on a piece of big big plastic sheet which is covered by soap(detergent) n mud.. den after tt we have to roll back to the starting point(means rolling in the mud).. in the end.. after all the rolling n the massaging of all the guys stomach using mud.. i realised tt we r not allow to bath le den continue.. we only can wash our hands, legs n face.. we cannot wash the clothes.. or juz even rinse them.. so can u imagine u have to walk around in clothes tt have all the muddy soap water dripping down ur leg.. eeewwwwwwwwww...

the third station:
here.. we play some stupid games.. but fun.. we r suppose to be blindfolded den after tt we have to find our partners.. by differentiating the voice usng 2 words.. guys will say"ice" girls will say "cube" den in btw.. the GMs will try to distract us by using paints to draw us.. this station makes me so colourful!!! -_-"
n in this round.. the guys is the most poor thing one.. they were force to perform a "gays 12P".. so poor thing.. haiz.. but so funny!!! fine..

the fourth station:
this one is abit messy so i wont be saying much.. but the worst thing we did here is the "using ur tongue to pass a rubber band around.." is so gross..

the fifth station:
in this station we were ask to find objects tt is in the garden.. but the most memorable thing is tt we have to use our teeth to pass a small bit crumb of biscuit.. this is veri obvious.. the kissing part is here.. is so gross.. nvm abt this..

the treasure hunt:
we have to find our groups de "BALLS".. we r not allow to take other groups balls.. there are oso be many "devils" walking around to catch ur group to n may confiscate some of ur balls.. n there are also "angels" walking around to give to balls.. in the end.. my group won!!! hahax.. super fun!! we got the most balls.. but the process of getting so much balls is not so easy.. let me tell u wad we did to be a winner:

1. a sexy chicken dance


2. banana dance


3. girls smacking guys butt


4. guys have to seduce the devil boy, girls have to seduce the devil girl


5. have legs tied together


6. many many cheers..


7. without knowing tt we had lost 2 group members whose legs got tied together


8. running around


9. lying on the basketball court with many ppl looking


10. swim in the basketball court


11. do the cheers while u r lying down


12. lots of pole-dancing


13. hiding like a wanted prisoner

this is all the things we have to do.. to be the winner.. not easy eh? hahax..

anyway.. my GL Chin How look so like kun sheng, n one of my group members,yong jian look like a skinny version of jing de with specs.. n i saw a senior tt look exactly like mr heng without specs.. hahax.. funny rite?

ok.. the end.. oh! i brought back some souvenirs back while rolling in the mud!!

不忍心。。

刚才上悠悠的时候，看到了一位JM跟我们分享了他的心情。。。

http://bbs.youyou.com/viewthread.php?tid=56907&extra=page%3D1

看了过后。。。我心里突然之间变得很难过，很难受。
我很舍不得俊杰这个样子。。。
因为这样让我觉得心很痛。。。
JJ，我发现到。。。
你对JM的好。。
是。。是无法用言语来形容的。。。
怪不得，JM都越来越爱你，支持你和相信你。。
。
JJ，你要真的好好爱惜自己的身子。。
不要忙坏喽！

没有林俊杰，我真的会死！

我发现到，现在的我。。
没有林俊杰，我真的会死！
那天的愚人节笑话，让我发现，我不能没有俊杰。。
我不能离开他。。
当我看到那篇文章时。。
我的眼泪不停的流。。
脑子一片空白。。
心里感到很担心，难过。。
又很复杂。。思绪都乱成一团。。

小杰，我知道你也很辛苦。。
你为大家所做的。。
我们都看到，感受到了。。
但是，你一定要继续加油！
我们都在支持你，因为我们相信你！

所以。。。


林小杰！你给我听清楚！！
你要离开，我们JM也不会让你走的！！
如果你真的舍得抛弃我们JM，
我一定要你好看！！

小心点喔～！

林老板，我老实说一句。。
你刚才那个笑话真的很不好笑。。
幸好我的心脏还撑得住。。
要不然，早就因惊吓过度而送进医院了。。
希望你以后不要再这样了。。
我们ＪＭ也会想尽办法来整你的。。
林小杰，小心点喔～！哈哈！

我吓坏了！

小鬼，你是在开我们JM 的玩笑对吧？
你不是真的要退出乐坛的对吧？
你是因为今天是愚人节，所以才这样的吧？
你是在说谎对吗？
请你尽快的回复我们好吗？
我刚才都被吓哭了！
你要怎么赔偿JM们的心灵创伤？！
这种事情是不可以拿来开玩笑的，你知道吗？！
我们JM都会被你吓死的！
拜托你出来说说话好吗？
虽然看到几个JM留言说是假的。。
但是你不出来澄清。。
我真的很不放心。。
不要在吓我们了好吗？
我今天真的会睡不着。。

JJ Ferderation Logos

draw these few days ago..
is a logo design for JJ Federation..
hope all of u can give some comments..
n state the one u prefer (top/center/last)..
this is veri important to me!!
thank you!

i found the book!!!

today went back to loyang to take the o lvl cert.. veri sian have to see the results again.. but nvm.. i saw many ppl goin back to take oso.. den after tt i was bringing my laptop around.. is like super heavy can!!! wadever.. den went to whitesands with sarah n yvonne.. we go see yun fang den after tt go burger king eat..

yvonne got a sore throat, yun fang is having a veri veri serious flu.. sarah did not take her med.. all this ppl dunno wad they thinking.. yun fang leh.. sick until like tt still wan to go work.. yvonne leh.. sore throat still eat burger king.. sarah leh.. she dun even bother to take care of herself.. 你们真的把我给气死了!!! haiz..

after tt yvonne went back.. den sarah n i go SP together to get my laptop self-certified.. now my com super lag can!!! forget it.. juz blame me tt i m in SP.. den we spend like 2-3 hours in the stupid small room with lots of new students n laptops.. the most frustrating part is the part where sarah n i couldnt find our way to the self-cert room.. n couldnt find our way back to where we came from.. but in the end we manage to get out of the freaking place..

den my sister, sarah n i went to KFC to eat dinner.. hahax.. tell u all one big good news!!!

I FOUND THE BOOK I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!! "THE PERFECT GIRL", 《最完美的女孩》. I FOUND IT AT LAST.. immediately i went to borrow it.. hahaz.. SUPER HAPPY!!!

read the first few parts.. quite exciting.. hahax.. i wonder wad will happen in the middle.. SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!!

ok den.. nth to write le.. goin to JJ's blog to see.. BYE BYE!!!

understanding..

请不要以为你们很了解我。
我的感受是你们无法了解的。
被父亲抛弃的感受，
等待美满家庭的感受，
被家人每次责怪的感受，
看着心爱的人牵着女友的感受，
爱上一个不该爱的人的感受，
等待有人来疼爱的感受。。

这些痛。。
你们是感受不到的。。
而且你们也无法让我忘记这些痛。。
唯有JJ可以这么做。。

他的音乐。。
他的开朗。。
他的笑容。。
他的一切。。
可以让我忘记我的痛。。
让我松懈我的心情。。

is all becos of u..

is all becos of u..

that is why i'm keeping myself happy..

is all for u my dear..

JJ.. is all becos of u..

that is why i'm keeping myself happy..

JJ.. is all for u my dear..

i will love u with all my heart..

i will support u forever..

is all becos of u..

俊杰！生日快乐！

俊杰！生日快乐！

祝你所有的梦想，理想和愿望都能够实现！

我会永远支持你的！

还有要祝你，

身体健康，

唱片大卖，

《原來我不帥》的原声带和DVD都能大卖，

还有事事都平安，顺利！


永远爱你和支持你的，

　小开

JJ!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~!!!

MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS & WISHES COME TRUE!!!

I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU!!!

I LIKE TO WISH YOU,

ALL THE BEST IN ALL THE UPCOMING EVENTS!!!

AND HAVE A SUCCESSFUL YEAR AHEAD!!!

STAY HEALTHY!!

With l0ts of l0ves,

j0viaL

a lot to say..

hey hey!!! a few days nv blog liao.. let me tell u wad happen on the 22nd, 23rd n today!!

22nd mar,
i went out with sarah in the afternoon, around 2pm.. we took mrt all the way to Jurong East, n took a free shuttle bus to IMM!!! do u noe why i go there? it is becos of..... JJ 林俊杰!!!! cos he got a autograph session, n 金莎 is also there!!! although it was raining heavily (n i m drench) n i didnt buy his album (cos i got no money), but i still wait for JJ to come (he was late for abt an hour, but i dun mind).. i did not regret for waiting so long, cos i finally can see HIM!!!!! AHHH!!! >.< style="font-size:130%;color:#000099;">JJ 林俊杰!!! so i got no choice.. but to accompany her to the supermarket.. n the whole day until 7.30pm, she juz order me around the house.. ask me to do this n that.. haiz.. nvm.. if is for JJ, i dun mind a thing!!

i was really enjoying the whole show, although is not like in the stadium so high, but i still can feel the "high-ness" there!! hahax.. i love it!!! got any comments u wan to say abt the S-POP Hurray tt is on sunday, 23/3, 7.30pm.. pls tag.. thank you! =D

abt today,
i woke up super early to bath!!! u noe y? dun worry.. is not abt JJ again.. is becos i have to go to sch for a briefing.. so have to wake up early to bath, n take bus to interchange n mrt all the way to dover.. hahax.. i stand quite a number of stops but nvm.. will get use to it de.. plus the previous night my sis say i nid to bring laptop to sch everyday.. i was like.. OMG!!! i think i abt it.. although my laptop is quite heavy.. but i will get use to it.. today the briefing is quite ok.. not really veri boring.. den one n a half hour later.. i took mrt back to whitesands.. den went there to see yun fang.. chat with her.. den after tt saw sarah.. we go eat.. den go home le..

one more thing i like to show all of u.. today when i alight the bus.. n walking back home i saw something tt really make me heartache.. i will post the pics by there links.. cos i scared some of u dun dare to see.. but i can promise u is not bloody..

Click Here To See What It Is..

Click Here To See How It Really Look Like..

good friday

ytd went out with sarah.. we went to her church for some events.. den after tt go eat something.. during the dinner.. i took lots of pictures.. but u noe wad? i accidentally delete everything.. hahax.. sarah.. sry arh.. veri fast goin 11pm.. so we rushed to the bus interchange to take bus 3.. after tt we all went home..

my sister stay over at her friends house.. so the whole room is mine.. but in the end.. my mother wan to share the room.. haiz.. nvm.. i uploaded the rest of the photos tt i have not deleted.. n was having a headache.. so went to slp..

today morning wake up.. feel veri fan.. den zhen hong still call me.. super irritating!!! dunno wad to say lah.. juz hope yvonne reply soon..

enrolment day!!!

went for enrolment today.. got lost in the sch.. hahax.. cos the sch too big.. plus is under construction!!!

but in the end.. i found the place n got enroled!!! den went through lots n lots of clubs n ccas.. n tt was super tiring.. u noe y i didnt leave at once? cos all the exits r BLOCK!!! they super clever.. block all the exits.. n if we want to leave.. we have to finish walking the whole ccas n clubs rooms.. haiz.. their IQ veri high arh..

ok say until here..

is so sickening!! i hate it man!! i feel like killing ppl!! this is too much!!!

snow..

今天觉得心里闷闷的。不知道为什么，总觉得很悲伤，很想哭。是因为追偶像的事情，还是因为很快就要开学的原故？就怎么样都笑不起来。今天叹了很多次的气。。心情还是这个样子。。算了，可能睡一觉明天醒来就没事了。

突然好想看到雪喔。。从来都没有看过雪。。下雪的时候应该很美吧。。

偶像迷

今天上了悠悠。我发现到我好像没有追偶像的资格。因为我不知道要怎么追。。他们的所有活动我都没有去或参加。。因为我根本不能去。。我也没有钱买他们的专辑。。Haiz..我真的觉得我自己很没有用。。自己没有那个能力还要学别人追偶像。。真是想哭。。

check-up done!!!

YEAH!! today finish my medical check up le!! went with sarah.. we had our check-up done at the same time same place.. hahax..

haiz.. gain 3kg.. n shrink by 2cm.. super sad now.. but nvm.. i still post it on my profile le like wad i promise.. i dun mind abt my weight.. but my height.. haiz.. I WAN TO GROW TALLER!!!

if anybody noe how to make a 16years old girl to grow taler, pls tell me through the tag board.. thank you!

continue today's journey.. after the check up.. we went to the mall near by.. we eat long john, play arcade, n watch ppl ice-skate.. hahax.. it was really veri cold there.. those little girls skate until veri pro!!cos they got a personal coach.. hahax.. but they r really veri young.. i think they primary 3-4 only.. SUPER PRO!! hahax.. i oso got learn abit last time.. I GOT CERT DE HOR!! but now everything forget le.. hahax..

den after tt we took mrt home. sarah alighted at bugis.. n i take all the way to simei.. cos i feel veri bored.. so suddenly wan to see the puppies, kittens, hamters n rabbits.. took some pics of the puppies.. later will put it up..

b4 i went home.. i ran through all the books in the whitesands library.. juz to find the book name.. "The Perfect Girl".. if anybody had read this book b4, pls tell me more abt the book.. thank you!

ok nth more to write.. will see whether to continue tmr..

JM n JJ Federation

today is a super cold day.. not only today.. these few days r all veri cold days.. dunno wad happen to the weather.. i wear jacket everyday.. den keep on raining n raining.. haiz.. the clothes juz cant dry..

today sarah came to my house.. we watch some videos, den after tt do some poly stuff.. after a while, we got nth to do.. so we watch the vcd sarah brought.. hahax.. around 6.30.. she went home.. den i was alone at home again..

today, i super guai.. i did all the housework i have to do.. hahax.. my mother didnt say a thing today.. super happy de!! first time living in now this kind of condition i feel happy.. hahax..

and also i now working veri hard to become a JM to join the JJ Federation!! hahax.. anyone wan to join me? u can go to JJ's website..

hahax.. ok lah... nth much to write le.. bye!

忍耐的限度

我已经哭到没有泪水了。
我已经哭到没有声音了。
我已经哭到没有力气再哭下去了。

我只想麻烦这个家，
不要再让我这样的哭下去了。

我不是出气筒。
我不是没有感觉的。
我不是耳聋的。
我不是瞎子。
我更不是。。小丑。

我真的已经很累了。
我现在已经开不起任何的玩笑，
或是忍受任何的愚闹了。
所以，请拜托个位，不要把我当小丑。
请不要以为作弄我，我就不会生气。
你们要知道，人的忍耐是有限度的。
我在这里很诚恳的拜托你们了。

我好想你。。回来找我好吗？

昨天晚上，我做梦梦到“喵喵”。也就是我那时候每次上学时，都会跟着我的小猫。。我想我是因为太想它了。。今天一起身，我就大哭一场！因为“喵喵”已经不在我身边，我再也看不到它了。。它死了。。被车撞死的。。我再也看不到它了。。“喵喵”我好想你。。你回来找我好吗？

LUCKY!!!

LUCKY!!! i love it man!!! today dun have check-up cos the appointment is full.. YES!!! still got time to slim down.. super happy!!! so love today!! bought lots of shirts n pants.. spend lots of money.. n the poly fees r paid!! 20th still have to go for check-up.. but nvm.. at least by tt time i wont be so worry abt my weight.. after my check-up, i post my weight n height in my profile.. hahax.. den u all will noe how not slim i m.. hahax..

later den continue.. see got wad thing interesting..

ken lee...

i almost forget something!! i wan to show everyone wad my sister show me the other day..






hope u all will love it!!

小莊~!!!

今天看了《原来我不帅》第九集。小莊好可憐呀﹗心婷好狠心！我觉得嫚嫚说得对！心婷拒绝他，只用另一种方式来伤害小莊而已。看到小莊那么的伤心，我心里也不好受。。我一定要继续看下去，因为我知道小莊会有福报的！

明天就要去做身体检查！！！好可怕喔！！真的很不想去。。可是还是没办法。。我看我还是面对现实吧！肥就肥，谁怕谁啊！没长高就算了！还是现在去做一点心理准备吧！拜拜！

not feeling well..

i went to bugis today for the gong zhu xiao mei thing. but i the end i didnt see their faces.. but nvm.. i went to the library to have a look.. i first time see such a big library!!! nvm abt tt.. i now not feeling veri well.. i cannot life up my right arm.. once i lift up, my right side of my stomach.. not really is stomach lah.. but juz veri pain.. i now dun even dare to move myself.. i wanted to get down the bed.. but i scared to move.. and nowadays.. i having headaches.. i dunno wad is goin on.. i think i got wad kind of illness or something.. can it be cancer?! i so dun wan to go check up.. cos i will noe a lot of my problems.. although i might not have any.. but wad if i have?!! and i oso dun wan to noe my weight.. cos once i noe.. tt will be so heart breaking.. haiz..

i wan to be stretch vertically, not horizontally!!!

the opposite..

my life is getting weird.. i woke in the afternoon, n slp in the morning.. getting more n more tired each day.. trying veri hard to get back the old routine.. so tmr i decide to go bugis for the nan feng si jue thing.. like tt at least i got something to wake up for in the morning.. den i can slp early at night.. hope this work.. if it doesn't work, den is the end for me..

computer problems..

feeling much better today.. i finish my pre-enrolment in the morning, i think around 2am.. den i got an appointment on the 19th.. haiz.. next week have to go to the bank for the payment. den after tt still got medical check up.

these few days keep on raining.. wan to go out oso veri difficult.. oso the clothes juz wont dry.. haiz.. i think one day i got no clothes to wear.. hahax..

my computer still got problem.. haiz.. super ma fan.. i dunno wad is wrong.. when i open the chinese software, the internet explorer automatically close. and my window media player will stop working. haiz.. wad to do? i oso not free to bring my com for repair.. headache ah..

hope someone can help me with this problem. if not my com one day will become siao.. den cannot on anymore..

ANOTHER DAY

today my mother talk abt money again.. i really hate it when she start this topic.. becos after talking abt the poly fees, she will talk abt the utilities bills, den she will start talking abt how my father dun wan to spend the money on my sister's sch fees.. den she will start talking abt the things he do, say all his bad stuffs.. den in the end, she will ask me to take money from him, becos she dun wan to talk to him.. i hate to heard them quarrel.. and all they talk abt is money.. n my mother will always use my sister and i as excuse.. for the stupid money!

nvm.. i dun wan to continue anymore.. goin to cry le..

r they my parents???

i hate my parents!!!! both of them r liars!!! they sucks!! they always lie to me!!! y do i have such parents?! i had enough!! enough of all these lying!! juz becos they hate each other!! juz becos they r alr divorce!! they r too much!!! my sister treat me the best! she nv lie to me! nobody will understand how i m feeling now.. n i think nobody will listen to me..

i m tired.. veri tired.. i m crying everyday becos of all these family matters.. i really had enough.. really veri tired.. having to put a smile on my face everyday, to me is veri difficult.. especially smiling in front of my parents, make me sick!!! i cannot cry in front of my friends!! some of them will be worried, and some will be tired of it.. i cannot let me sister worry abt me too.. wad am i goin to do?!

ENROLMENT PACKAGE!!!

YEAH!!! I GOT MY ENROLMENT PACKAGE YESTERDAY!!! super happy, n frustrated. becos the instructions in the enrolment package is super confusing. u dun even noe wad is wad, n wad to do with it. somemore veri few friends same sch as me, so the enrolment method is different, cannot find anybody to discuss with. lucky my sis have the experience, if not i die alr. plus i got some help from xiu huan too!!!

sunday is the day!!! Gong Zhu Xiao Mei coming to singapore!!! waiting for my NanFeng Ling, Hu Yu Wei!!! Ahhh!!! but dunno whether can go or not.. see first bah.. hahax.. ok.. gtg.. have to do some research on the enrolment thing.. bb!

29 feb, fun day!!!

today went to yvonne's house. her new house not as big as her old house, but is still veri nice. =D i went there to clean the windows, although i didnt clean much becos i too short, cannot reach the top of the windows.. hahax.. zhen hong today do a lot of things, but he couldn't get anything rite. this make yun fang veri headache. hahax.. den after we finish everything, we sit on the clean clean floor, n eat donuts. yummy!! =D after tt, we start to pack up, clean up, n everything, den we went to whitesands for KFC, den went to arcade to play!!! yeah!! den came home, until now den can settle down to write something.

i heard from zhi xian tt she got her enrolment package alr!! i was so so shock!! she says she juz got it, but i haven't get any!! i'm now so so worry abt the letter not coming. haiz.. nvm.. goin to go play games le.. good nite!!